Sagcal, Genevieve A52A July 18, 2012
To make a good extended definition
essay, one must write about the historical or dictionary definition of a word
and then interpret it by its personal meaning. One must also provide examples
to support the claims of the essay. The subject or word being defined must also
not be too broad or narrow so that it may be explained well. Extended
definition essays can also inform, express, and persuade readers about the
writer’s thoughts and stand. It must also be written clearly and systematically
so that the readers may be able to comprehend it.
The
extended definition essay on Bayanihan: The Immortal Filipino Hero by R.F.S.
defined the word bayanihan through its dictionary meaning all the while
incorporated the writer’s definition of it. Although, I noticed that the thesis
statement was not clearly if not entirely stated in the introduction. The
writer made use of a historical definition which is good for it showed how the
word bayanihan evolved over time. The introduction gave information about the
traditional meaning of bayanihan which is important in writing an extended
definition essay. Moving on to the body, the writer gave ample details in
supporting each of the sub topics of her outline. I also noticed that her
thesis statement claimed that bayanihan is showed through modern Filipino
sports but, the sports that she made use of were not Filipino at all for they
were sports adapted from foreign countries. The writer should have rephrased
her thesis and stated that it bayanihan was showed through modern Filipino
sports teams instead. I commend her though for her essay’s body for it was
detailed and it also gives the readers a room for imagination and
interpretation. In the conclusion, the explanation of the sub topics was a bit
scarce and unclear. The writer also failed to reinstate her thesis in the
conclusion. Lastly, the conclusion was unclear and scattered which made her
definition of bayanihan forgettable and indistinct.
Over all, I cannot say that the extended
definition essay on bayanihan was one of the best ones out there. It had some
positive points and some negative ones. The writer was able to express the word
bayanihan by its historical definition and also through his/her own, but the
writer failed to interpret her thesis statement clearly in the essay. Also,
there are grammar lapses in different parts of the text. Finally, my judgment
is that the writer was able to write an extended definition essay but was
poorly written.
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